I often noticed that most of us Filipinos would tend to rather suffer in silence than saying something. We allow people to cut in line in the supermarket without saying a word. We don't give feedback because we don't want to offend someone, or complicate the situation. As much as we would like to bite our tongues and keep the peace, there are just moments where we shouldn’t simply take things sitting down.
Is keeping the peace compromising YOUR inner peace? Then, it's time to open up.
When we refuse to speak up for ourselves, it degrades us. We end up questioning our self-worth, and start creating excuses for bad behavior. How can we advocate for others when we can’t advocate for ourselves?
People are no mind readers. Sometimes, they are not aware that they are hurting us! We must build trust, open up, and say our concerns to them nicely. There shouldn’t be any negative words or name-calling. We should focus on the action, not on the person entirely.
One tip for opening up is starting the conversation with “I.” For example, “I feel sad because of what happened.” If they take it badly, let's stand our ground and not let ourselves be gaslighted. Do not let the other’s reaction affect our self-worth.
Just like the way we outgrow our clothes, we also outgrow people. We might think they were great at first. But as time passes, we realize that they are not doing us any good.
If it’s toxic, it’s alright to let it go. It may be painful but think about this,
“You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them,” she says now.
“You can miss a person every day, and still be glad that they are no longer in your life.”
~ Tara Westover, Educated
It might be difficult standing up for ourselves but it will help free our soul. It is our first step towards healing. Remember that our words are powerful enough to change our life instantly. Let's use it wisely to create a better life for ourselves, and for others.
Let yourself heard, and take care of your mental health.