Speaking Up Improves Our Mental Wellness

I often noticed that most of us Filipinos would tend to rather suffer in silence than saying something. We allow people to cut in line in the supermarket without saying a word. We don't give feedback because we don't want to offend someone, or complicate the situation. As much as we would like to bite our tongues and keep the peace, there are just moments where we shouldn’t simply take things sitting down.

Is keeping the peace compromising YOUR inner peace? Then, it's time to open up.

When we refuse to speak up for ourselves, it degrades us. We end up questioning our self-worth, and start creating excuses for bad behavior. How can we advocate for others when we can’t advocate for ourselves?

People are no mind readers. Sometimes, they are not aware that they are hurting us! We must build trust, open up, and say our concerns to them nicely. There shouldn’t be any negative words or name-calling. We should focus on the action, not on the person entirely.

One tip for opening up is starting the conversation with “I.” For example, “I feel sad because of what happened.” If they take it badly, let's stand our ground and not let ourselves be gaslighted. Do not let the other’s reaction affect our self-worth.

Just like the way we outgrow our clothes, we also outgrow people. We might think they were great at first. But as time passes, we realize that they are not doing us any good.

If it’s toxic, it’s alright to let it go. It may be painful but think about this,

“You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them,” she says now.

“You can miss a person every day, and still be glad that they are no longer in your life.”

~ Tara Westover, Educated

It might be difficult standing up for ourselves but it will help free our soul. It is our first step towards healing. Remember that our words are powerful enough to change our life instantly. Let's use it wisely to create a better life for ourselves, and for others.

Let yourself heard, and take care of your mental health.

Working Close To What We Wanted

I wanted to be many things when I was a youngster! I wanted to be a pilot, a teacher, and a beauty queen all at the same time. As I grew older, I realized that I achieved things close to what I wanted.

I became a flight attendant because that was the closest I could get to becoming a pilot, and a beauty queen. I'd get to fly and walk down the aircraft aisle smiling at my passengers. Before clipping my wings, I was also a leadership trainer.

Now I partner with different organizations so I can help people from all walks of life by designing and delivering effectual wellness programs, coaching them to create healthier habits and a winning mindset; and I also mentor college students to power their careers in the field of innovation. In a nutshell, I'm also a teacher.

We are frequently disheartened when things do not go as planned. We have tried our hardest, but there are some things we simply cannot control. Who knows? Maybe it's not yet our time. Perhaps what we actually desire will manifest itself in a different form, better yet, in a grander from.

A lot of us (especially young ones) give up our own dreams because we have a lot of struggles. Some have to choose survival. Some have unsupportive loved ones. It is alright if we choose to set aside our own aspirations, but we must not give up on it. There is no timeline in achieving success, anyhow.

And success is defined by how we put meaning into it.

Nevertheless, we need to work as close as possible to what we want. The more we enjoy and love the work that we do each day, the happier we are, and the healthier we become holistically.

Remember that it is completely okay to aim and shoot for the moon. No need to worry if we land on the stars instead. Who knows? We might even enjoy the company of the stars more.

Let's make sure that we sparkle in what we do.

Oh, Mindfulness — the Art of Doing Nothing

Winnie the Pooh has always been one of my favorite classics. Aside from the fact that the characters are so adorable; they never fail to share a nugget of wisdom. As we grow older, it gives us more time to think about our aspirations, works-in-progress, and what hinders us from achieving them.

One of my favorite quotes from Christopher Robin's 2018 film is, “Doing nothing often leads to the very best kind of something.”

I, like many others, have lazy mornings. I open my eyes, stare at the ceiling while feeling grateful that I am still alive. Then I gaze out the window, smile at the floating clouds and the bright blue skies. After which, I bring my attention to my breath and just allow myself to enjoy the present moment. Before I know it, an hour has passed, and I haven't gotten started with my morning ritual. As I get out of bed, I feel bad for wasting a good chunk of supposedly productive time.

When the day ends, I forgive myself, and recognize that it is okay if I have my humdrum days. After all, I've never failed to deliver results. I'm good at getting into my flow zone whenever it's time to grind.

We are back in the doldrums again right after the new year. We see the people we know getting sick left and right. Many of us are experiencing mental distress, and have become even more anxious. We wind up berating ourselves for something over which we have no control.

It’s alright to simply exist, and survive whatever life throws at us. No need to feel the pressure of being useful all the time. Even if we think we're accomplishing nothing, we're actually only getting started on something big.

When we practice mindfulness, we elevate our self-awareness and take control of our thoughts. It triggers creativity that can suddenly bring up a slew of new ideas! Who knows? One mundane thought could open the door to more opportunities of success!

Let's find time to do nothing every once in awhile. Be well!